"I am not getting stabbed in the name of science."
holding women and women’s media in popular culture accountable and hating women and women’s media in popular culture overlap a great deal.
it’s undoubtedly valuable to feminist discourse but also a dirty kind of justice, and you shouldn’t feel purely righteous for adding to the culture of hate we have towards women, however justified.
you should be aware of the disproportionate power words hold when they’re inflicted against women, analyze the double standards you hold when women make mistakes vs when men make the same mistakes, know that your words don’t just affect the women you’re attacking but also the women around you and how they feel about themselves.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately in the wake of the 50 Shades of Grey trailer. It’s likely to be a troubling piece of media, but it’s also a mainstream movie about the sexual fantasies of a woman made for other women.
So for me, this is a lot more complex an issue than just, “Wow, the consent in this film is for shit and probably sends some terrible messages to men and girls.” It does do that, but how should we respond?
Shaming women for taking in all the messages they’re sent about their bodies and their sexual desire does nothing to help girls and women. Shame the patriarchy instead for making ownership of self so hard for us and for creating a culture in which some women almost have to eroticize and recontextualize danger to get in touch with their desires.
Personally, I think we ought to flood as many posts about consent as we can. That way, when people search for content along the likes of 50 Shades of Grey, they’ll turn up helpful information as opposed to rebuke. Write enthusiastic and consensual porn for other women, point out what 50 Shades did wrong, get angry about Hollywood cashing in on a movie about an abusive relationship, but don’t smack a ruler on a woman’s knuckles for liking something screwed up.* We all do that shit. And I really do think women give each other more flack for it than we sometimes give men.
*provided it’s not something illegal and/or harmful to a real human being
jewish bucky who only went to synagogue until his bar mitzvah and never felt very religious
jewish bucky who doesn’t put up his mother’s mezuzah when he moves in with steve because he doesn’t want to draw the attention to their apartment, and hides it better than the dirty magazines he was once dared to buy
jewish bucky who will punch a man at the drop of a hat for sexism or racism but ducks his head and walks faster whenever he hears antisemitism, especially when it is pointed at him
jewish bucky who only ever spoke yiddish with his family and over half of what he says is in english because he doesn’t know the words when he stops by jewish bakeries and stores and chats with the owners
jewish bucky who shakes his head and laughs when old jewish grandmothers tell him you don’t look jewish but balls his fists and bites his tongue when the men at steve’s church say it
jewish bucky who shakes with anger when people say he’s frugal because hes jewish, and not because bucky has to save every penny for steve, for medicine, for heating in the winter, for survival
jewish bucky who goes to war in europe and survives a fucking nazi labor camp and goes to fight alongside captain america and the rest of the howling commandos
MORNING BLUES: a mix for waking up in the morning, slowly and lazily to start the day perfectly
The famed androgynous model reveals her emotional journey to becoming a transgender woman
Congratulations to Andreja on her transition! May your new life bring you much happiness!
Jessie Franklin Turner, 1933
The Metropolitan Museum of Art